Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
