In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
