Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I deserve this hangover.
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