Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
