I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The Olympian is in my bed
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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