Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
