i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
