Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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