I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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