just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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