I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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