I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
