just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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