I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
