I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
