I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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