the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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