Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
