Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
