I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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