Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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