I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
