I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
