You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
