sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She bit a glass in half.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
