I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
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in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am naked and annoyed.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize