That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
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Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
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Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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