Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Its about making memories worth repressing
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Everyone says I win the strip club
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
