Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
