how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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