just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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