I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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