Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
