yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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