you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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