im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
