I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This is the high leading the old right now
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize