Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
