When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize