Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
