I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
