Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
