wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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