Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
