Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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