I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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