my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
