Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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