Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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