After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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