They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
