I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
