dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
this will be a night to untag.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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