Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize