Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.