You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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