Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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