In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
