The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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