so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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