dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
