drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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